We cannot fail to have been moved by the tragic case of young Sis. Kelly Mary Fauvrelle, who at eight months pregnant was brutally stabbed and murdered in her Thornton Heath home in the early hours of the 29th June and whose unborn child succumbed to the injuries sustained four days later. While a motive is still being sought for the attack, two men have so far been arrested on suspicion of murder. One, aged 37, was released under investigation on Sunday, while a second, aged 29, has been released on bail until early Mosiah (Aug). A third man, whose image is seen on CCTV walking towards the property and running away from it a short time later, around the time the incident is thought to have taken place is being sought by the police. (1)
As stated above, no motive has yet been established for the attack, and it would be counter-productive to engage in idle speculation, yet the fact remains that an Afrikan woman has been brutally murdered so it should at least be a community safety concern. Nevertheless, the Kelly Fauvrelle case does have some uncomfortable echoes of recent domestic abuse cases where Afrikan women have been the victims. So irrespective of the final outcome of the Fauvrelle case a discussion on the prevalence, perception and impact of domestic violence (also referred to as domestic abuse and IPV – Intimate Partner Violence) is necessary. (2)
The issue came up, somewhat tangentially on an Afrika Speaks show back in April while dealing with the plight of the children of National Union of Students (NUS) president Sis. Shakira Martin. The main topic of the show revolved around the racism endured Sis. Shakira’s daughters at the Sherwood Park Primary School in Sidcup. However, the context for being in Sidcup was due to our sister fleeing domestic violence. Most callers focused on the school issues, some being quite critical of her decision to place the children in a school in an all-white area. Only one respondent, a sister incidentally, emphasised the domestic violence aspect as fundamental context for the case (https://www.mixcloud.com/AfrikaSpeaks/is-racism-a-safeguardingchild-protection-issue-080419/).
It does beg the question to what extent we as a community cognisant of the level impact of domestic abuse. Overall, “two women a week are killed by a current or former partner. Many more are left with life changing injuries.” (3) National statistics also offers a profile of the “women most at risk of experiencing partner abuse” – younger women (16 to 24 years); mixed, multiple ethnicity; Christian (more so than Muslim or Hindu); unmarried, unemployed, living in lower income households. (4) For the avoidance of doubt, the government definition of domestic abuse is as follows:
“Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. This can encompass, but is not limited to, the following types of abuse:
• psychological • physical • sexual • financial • emotional.
Controlling behaviour is: a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour.
Coercive behaviour is: an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.” (5)
Getting into more specifics, the Office for National Statistics 2018 Crime Survey for England and Wales, reveals that at 8.6% Afrikan women (comprising “Black/African/Caribbean/Black British”, “Black – African” and “Black – Caribbean” indicates that Afrikan women suffer abuse at a rate higher than any other group except “Mixed/multiple ethnic” at 10.4% (although the specific “Black – Caribbean” group records 10.8%). The national average is 7.9% (6).
This is compounded by previous research that indicates that African-Caribbean communities suffer gender-based violence “more greatly than other ethnic groups.” In fact:
“Research by the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC 2012) has identified that African-Caribbean women live with high levels of abuse over long periods, with the majority experiencing daily abuse before separation.” (7)
Furthermore, the NSPCC “research established that abuse was under reported and that African-Caribbean women wanted to protect black men from the authorities.” (8)
This tendency is based on the very real notion that state and non-governmental mainstream agencies (although not necessarily related to domestic abuse) are at the very least culturally unaware/insensitive and at worst racist, sexist. So engaging with them may fuel the existing modus operandi that may in turn further impact negatively on the community. This is assuming there is an awareness of the services anyway and that they are accessible. (9)
However, another factor might be acceptance based on family or other community formation pressure (e.g. religious, political), i.e. putting the “interests” of the family ahead of the abused. (10) These can also be underpinned by notions of “male privilege… associated with a fundamental belief system in which socio-cultural norms support male violence.” (11) This could even lead to a kind internalised acceptance of the abuse that almost normalises it or places the main responsibility on the woman. This is perhaps more starkly illustrated in Afrika and the Caribbean. For example, back in 2012 the then Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Education of St. Vincent and the Grenadines, Girlyn Miguel chastised the island’s women by asking them “to dress themselves properly” so that they “do not give temptation to our men.” This was in spite of the fact that at the time the island was regarded as the “femicide capital of the Eastern Caribbean,” that a few years earlier had the third-highest rate of reported rapes in the world (allegations of which even ensnared the Prime Minister Ralph Gonsalves),” according to a United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime report. (12)
In addition, if the figures in a World Bank study, Poverty In Africa are to be believed, a staggering “51% African women report that being beaten by their husbands is justified if they either go out without permission, neglect the children, argue back, refuse to have sex, or burn the food.” This current proportion is said to represent a 10% decline over the last decade and a half. It should also be stated that this amount denotes attitudes rather than incidence. (13) However, such attitudes may suggest evidence of what is termed the “cycle of abuse,” where childhood exposure to violence can lead to a validation and normalisation of it. (14)
In addition to the direct effects of the abuse, Afrikan women pay a heavy, long-term price. Research shows that:
“Remaining in violent relationships, African-Caribbean women are more prone to develop poor mental health, major depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, alcohol and substance abuse. These findings were compared to women who had never experienced. The occurrence of depression in the women who experienced intimate partner violence was 71% compared to 10% among those who had not. These findings seem to indicate that intimate partner violence, which includes domestic violence, increases the risk of mental health problems.” (15)
Wariness of seeking help in the established authorities can sometimes become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Few cases illustrate this more tragically than that of Sis. Valerie Forde. Sis. Valerie decided to end her relationship with Roland McKoy, her partner of eighteen years after discovering he was leading a double life – married to another woman with whom he had two children. This to her was the final straw with regard to the man she told friends was lazy and was mentally abusing her. She gave him three months to move out of the family home in Hackney and find somewhere else to live. After the deadline was issued McKoy began to make violent threats. (16)
In December 2013, he told a neighbour he would “get a shotgun, kill everyone in the house and then kill himself. Another threat, voiced to a neighbour was that he would burn the house down with the children inside. Sis. Valerie reported “feeling a bit scared of him” and went to the police on February 12 2014 to report the threats. The police didn’t follow the case up and on March 31 2014, the scheduled day of his departure, McKoy launched a heinous attack on Valerie Forde and their 22-month-old daughter Jahzara. He inflicted 17 hammer blows to the head, multiple machete lacerations to the head, face, stomach and hands and screwdriver punctures to her abdomen and one in her back. He also used the machete to sever little Jahzara’s throat. Valerie’s daughter Carrise, listened helplessly via telephone while she alerted the authorities with an alternative device. In December 2014, after a 150-minute deliberation the Jury found McKoy guilty and he was sentenced to 35 years in prison. (17)
The then Independent Police Complaints Commission launched an investigation of the police’s handling of the case. They found that the force dealt very poorly with the threat reported by Sis. Valerie. Two detective sergeants were found guilty of misconduct for failing to adequately progress the investigation and for poor record keeping and were given written warnings. A trainee detective constable was given management advice. The civilian call handler that failed to fully record and communicate critical information in the 999 call from Carrise was given management action for their poor performance. (18)
Deciding to leave a relation is one of the acknowledged warning signs of abuse. It’s impossible to say that police action would have saved Valerie Forde but her reporting theoretically gave her a chance. Sis. Sian Blake did not even have that opportunity. Like Sis. Valerie, Sian had decided to end her relationship in mid-December 2015 but the very next day her partner Arthur Simpson-Kent, who was described as having “no history of depression, but he had features consistent with a narcissistic personality, which include “a grandiose sense of self-importance, requiring excessive admiration” as well as being exploitative, arrogant and lacking in empathy,” set about her and sons Zachary, eight and Amon, four with an axe using “heavy, deliberate, repeated blows,” killing all three. He then buried the bodies in the garden and fled to Ghana, while trying to leave a false trail using Sian’s mobile phone. He was apprehended by local police, extradited and given a whole life sentence after being found guilty in October 2016. (19)
Unlike Valerie Forde and Sian Blake, Malorie Bantala survived her attack. Eight months pregnant at the time, her unborn baby didn’t. Her assailant was Kevin Wilson, the baby’s father who did not want her to give birth to their child. He and accomplice Taffari Grant repeatedly kicked and stomped her stomach in the June 2015 attack that left Marlorie with life-threatening internal bleeding just feet from her home on that way back from baby shower shopping. In February 2016 Wilson and Grant were convicted of child destruction and causing grievous bodily harm and sentenced to life and ten years respectively. (20)
For its part, the government through its ‘Ending Violence Against Women and Girls 2016-2020’ strategy acknowledges the added barriers that certain groups experience in accessing support for escaping domestic violence, such as “BME” women. To address this, it proposes that part of the £80 million fund dedicated to the implementation of this policy at local level be dedicated to support these populations. (21)
However, some might argue by the time the government and its agencies are involved it’s already too late. It might also be worth exploring whether anyone other than the victim identified the sinister potential of the likes of McKoy, Simpson-Kent and Wilson (none of whom seem to have any diagnosed mental health issues). If they did was any attempt was made to intervene? Or presently, have we identified these tendencies exist in people we know now?
In many respects we are operating from a massive deficit. According to statistics, the Afrikan community suffers the worst incidences of domestic abuse and some of our gender-based historically rooted behaviours and even family dynamics in some cases enable it. Moreover, given the possibility that the state agencies will fall short with their support as was the case with Valerie Forde, a proactive approach is needed. This is where organisations like Sistah Space enter the picture. Founded in November 2015, they explain how and why they were set up:
“The Sistah Space was created for a combination of reasons and was a journey that started many years ago, but was fully developed in memory of a beautiful sistah-queen called Valerie Forde and her beautiful baby girl ‘Baby J’. Valerie was everything that we would aspire to be, she was a loving mother, a much-loved daughter, a valued family member, a dear friend to many and a community giant. Valerie was also a very creative artist. The world was robbed of two promising angels on the 31st March 2014 when an act of extreme domestic violence was perpetrated against them. This inspired the eventual launch of the developing seed which is Sistah Space.” (22)
They add:
“There are many UK domestic abuse/violence organisations, but our experience has shown that without understanding and respect for the history, culture and specific needs of African and Caribbean survivors of domestic abuse it is not possible to provide the help and support that’s needed.
We know many women have had negative experiences when trying to get help. We know women who have felt humiliated. We know women who have felt that the police aren’t taking them seriously because they don’t have a ‘red mark’ on their dark skin when they were hit in the face… Nobody can understand the needs of African heritage women, better than African heritage women do. Only we understand that black women have to report domestic abuse many more times than their white counterparts, before (if ever) getting help. Only we truly know the journey and prejudices and racism we have endured over the years that make it extremely difficult to go to others for help.” (23)
At a very basic, but necessary, level their website provides guidance on defining abuse, how to identify it and what the warning signs are. We list them her because for some they might situations we are familiar with that we might not even regard as abuse:
Warning signs
- When a woman decides to leave the relationship
- With each pregnancy or child, the situation can become more intense
- When he doesn’t want you to maintain a relationship with family or friends
- If he has a history of abusive behaviour
- When his mood switches from really nice to really nasty suddenly and without warning or reason
- If he controls the finances and pretty much everything, including what you wear and where you go.
- He phones you constantly and tries to monitor your movements
- He presents as a very nice person to the rest of the world.
- He embarrasses you in front of others
Signs of abuse
- He is verbally abusive
- He blames you for the abuse
- He makes threats against you or family members if you report abuse or threaten to leave.
- You change your behaviour to keep the peace.
- The ‘vibe’ in your house depends on the mood he is in
- He forces you to have sex or you relent for fear of what may happen if you don’t comply
- Abusive behaviour including threatening, destroying furniture or your possessions
- Threatening to report you to immigration (if you don’t have leave to remain)
- Throwing you out of the house
- Threatening to reveal something personal about you.
- Threatening to or harming a family member (children, parent)
An Afrikan-centered approach to this issue posits that domestic abuse is an inevitable outcome of the patriarchal, white supremacist society and that Afrikans through centuries of oppression have been corralled into accepting this worldview and its attendant values (which includes the destruction of the Afrikan family as an imperative). (24) Although the inevitability is tempered by the fact that not all men abuse.
Nevertheless, this perspective argues that the antidote is a restoration of traditional Afrikan values. Sis. Ifi Amadiume speaks of “Afrikan matriarchal foundations,” where she cites cases of female power socially, politically and Spiritually. (25) Similarly, Oba T’Shaka writes on returning “to the Afrikan mother principle of male and female equality,” asserting that “to preserve and strengthen Black culture… we must shape and African-centered philosophy, cosmology or world view centered around the principle of male-female complementarity, masculine-feminine synthesis, and harmonious twin-ness, unicity, maat and change.” (26)
Sistah Space embodies the essence of these philosophies of familial involvement, in contrast to some existing formations that are rigorously women only:
“It is necessary to point out that although the Sistah Space is for the use of African heritage women and girls, we do sometimes include brothas into the Space. We are adamant that we need to keep unity within the African family where possible, and do not want to give the wrong impression that all men are perpetrators of domestic abuse. It is also vital that we embrace the often young sons, brothers and families of survivors. We value the support that is given to us by the male members of our community. With this is mind, we have events and occasions where men are invited at the discretion of staff, Trustees and service users.” (27)
The Afrikan-centered approach also emphasizes a coherent process for pursuing and establishing relationships as opposed to the haphazard ‘falling in love’ (or lust) model that currently dominates our social interactions. Mwalimu Baruti in his book, Complementarity, is instructive on this:
“Without marriage there is no true family, extended or otherwise. There is no protection of the children or parents from the pain of loss or abuse. There is no unity of purpose, no concerted effort to thrive and build more than what one could do alone. Without marriage all that exists is the collections of fragmented individuals frantically searching for what they have misdefined as love and happiness from whoever or whatever crosses their path.” (28)
The challenge – if we are keen to truly address domestic abuse in the community – is to develop a framework for instituting this process.
(1) Ben Quinn (03/07/19) Baby son of pregnant stabbing victim Kelly Mary Fauvrelle dies. https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/jul/03/baby-son-of-pregnant-london-stabbing-victim-kelly-mary-fauvrelle-dies
(2) Lara Witt (26/11/18) Black Women Suffer From The Highest Rates Of Domestic Violence Because Of Misogynoir. https://wearyourvoicemag.com/news-politics/black-women-domestic-violence-misogynoir /
(3) Sistah Space (2016) What Is Abuse? https://ijelonek.github.io/Sistah_Space/pages/abuse.html
(4) Alexa Bradley and Angela Potter (31/05/18) Women most at risk of experiencing partner abuse in England and Wales: years ending March 2015 to 2017. https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/articles/womenmostatriskofexperiencingpartnerabuseinenglandandwales/yearsendingmarch2015to2017
(5) Home Office (2013) Information for Local Areas on the change to the Definition of Domestic Violence and Abuse. https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/142701/guide-on-definition-of-dv.pdf
(6) Office for National Statistics (22/11/18) Domestic abuse in England and Wales – Appendix tables. https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/datasets/domesticabuseinenglandandwalesappendixtables
(7) Estelle Catherine Munro (2014) A study of domestic violence and the African-Caribbean community in Preston and surrounding areas. Diffusion: the UCLan Journal of Undergraduate Research Volume 7 Issue 2.
(8) Ibid.
(9) Sofia Graca (2017) Domestic violence policy and legislation in the UK: a discussion of immigrant women’s vulnerabilities. European Journal of Current Legal Issues > Vol 23, No 1. p. 28. http://webjcli.org/article/view/531.
(10) Munro. Op. cit.
(11) Graca, Op. cit.
(12) Kevin Edmonds (25/01/12) Discussing Domestic Violence in the Caribbean. https://nacla.org/blog/2012/1/26/discussing-domestic-violence-caribbean
(13) Luc Christiaensen (18/01/16) Domestic Violence and Poverty in Africa: When the Husband’s Beating Stick is Like Butter. https://blogs.worldbank.org/africacan/domestic-violence-and-poverty-in-africa-when-the-husbands-beating-stick-is-like-butter.
(14) Munro. Op. cit
(15) Ibid
(16) Press Association (17/12/14) London man convicted of killing ex-partner and baby daughter. https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/dec/17/london-man-convicted-killing-ex-partner-baby-daughter-roland-mckoy
(17) Ibid.
(18) BBC News (17/06/16) Machete double killer victims Valerie Forde and daughter let down by Met Police. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-36562028
(19) Alexandra Topping (05/10/16) Sian Blake murder: Arthur Simpson-Kent gets whole-life sentence. https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/oct/05/sian-blake-arthur-simpson-kent-gets-full-life-sentence
(20) Tom Evans & Harry Kemble (11/02/16) Vile dad-to-be gets LIFE for stamping on heavily pregnant ex’s bump killing unborn son. https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/493842/attacker-stamped-on-pregnant-woman-sentenced
(21) Graca. p. 34
(22) Sistah Space (2016)) Why Sistah Space?. https://ijelonek.github.io/Sistah_Space/pages/our_work.html
(23) Ibid.
(24) Mwalimu K Bomani Baruti (2005) Common Sense in Mentacide and other essays. Akoben House. pp. 11-14
(25) Ifi Amadiume (1987) Afrikan Matriarchal Foundations: The Igbo Case. Karnak House. p. 83-4
(26) Oba T’Shaka (1995) Return to the Afrikan Mother Principle of Male and Female Equality. Pan Afrikan Publishers and Distributors. p. 267
(27) Sistah Space (2016) What Is Abuse? https://ijelonek.github.io/Sistah_Space/pages/abuse.html
(28) Mwalimu K Bomani Baruti (2004) Complementarity. Akoben House. p. 35-6.
we ask the question:
Domestic Abuse: How widespread is it?
1) Is there really more abuse in our community compared to others?
2) Are there any ways that our existing behaviours/attitudes enable abuse?
3) Are abused women right to “protect black men from the authorities”?
4) Would you intervene if you identified the warnings/signs of abuse?
5) Is abuse inevitable because of the patriarchal society we live in?
6) Can Afrikan-Centered approaches effectively address the issue?
Our Special Guest:
Sis. Ngozi Fulani (CEO, IDVA, ISVA): is the founder member of Sistah Space & is the senior member of staff in charge of day to day running. Ngozi qualified as an Independent Domestic Violence Advisor (IDVA) & an Independent Sexual Violence Advisor (ISVA). Ngozi handles all the case studies and one to one surgeries. https://www.sistahspace.org/
Sis. Rosanna (IDVA): is senior volunteer at Sistah Space.