After two shows looking the incidence of domestic abuse in the Afrikan community, exploring its impact and legacy, while trying to give voice to the survivors, we now turn our attention to the perpetrators. To set the context we frame it in the words of one survivor: “Instead of asking ‘Why didn’t she leave’, ask ‘Why did he hit her?” (1) This speaks to the notion that many discussions around domestic abuse focus on what the woman should or shouldn’t have done rather than the source of the abuse – the man. In the introduction to Steps Towards Change, their study of Domestic Violence Perpetrator Programmes, feminist academics Liz Kelly and Nicole Westmarland assert:
“Despite over 40 years of new responses to domestic violence there is little evidence that this has produced a sustained reduction in its extent. Most interventions in the Global North continue to focus on women and children, securing their safety through removing them from harm (via refuges and rehousing). Far less attention has been given to domestic violence perpetrators despite research showing many repeat their violence in future relationships. The preferred route in much, but not all, of the global north, has been holding them to account through the criminal justice system. In the UK despite large increases in the numbers being charged and prosecuted over the last decade, the majority of reports do not result in criminal justice sanctions, and we have minimal evidence that arrest and/or prosecution changes men’s practice. Worldwide, research on policing practices in relation to domestic violence perpetrators is extremely limited” (2)
The previous shows have emphasized the extent to which domestic abuse is under reported, and in many cases, enabled within the community. So while it is imperative to keep a potential victim away from harm through refuges and the like, this doesn’t resolve the issue. As indicated above, perpetrators are likely to abuse again with someone new. Logic suggests that preventing them from abusing at all is the most effective way to break the cycle.
In trying to attain this goal some understanding of the hows and whys of domestic abuse is necessary. USA Based licensed counsellor John G Taylor offers the following profile of an abuser:
“1. Jealousy; questioning partner constantly about whereabouts, jealous of the time she spends away from him
2. Controlling behavior; the victim cannot get a job, leave the house, or bathe without permission
3. Isolation; makes partner move away from family and friends so that she depends on him solely for support
4. Forces sex against partner’s will
5. Holds very rigid gender roles; partner’s job is to cater to the abuser.” (3)
He adds that they are often smart, charming and manipulative, getting people outside the home to buy into his deceit to the extent that any allegations against them are met with incredulity. Clinically they manifest the following traits:
“ 1. Antisocial Personality Disorder; deceitfulness, repeatedly lying, use of aliases or conning others for personal profit or pleasure
2. Borderline Personality Disorder; a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships by alternating between extreme idealizations and devaluation
3. Narcissistic Personality Disorder; a grandiose sense of self-importance” (4)
However, it is important not to always conflate factors like mental illness, or even alcoholism or anger management issues with domestic abuse. Although these factors can intensify the abuse they are not regarded as the driving force. If they were the driving force then the abusers would generally have little control over who they abuse and where (e.g. if alcoholic they would become abusive whenever and wherever they get drunk). But in many instances abusers reserve their for their partners in the privacy of their own home (or even another location – but in private). This indicates the capacity to exert control. Choice, even over their abusive actions. So for the driving force practitioners point a the perpetrators sense of male entitlement and belief they have the privilege to control their intimate partners. (5)
In in this regard abuse can be seen, as one practitioner put it, as “a lifestyle choice.” Further, it has also been argued that perpetrators identify and groom their targets using the same tactics as paedophiles. (6)
To address this behaviour increasing focus is bring placed on Domestic Violence Perpetrator Programmes (DVPP). As much as 80% of survivors wish their partner or ex-partner had accessed a specialist intervention programme. In reality less than 1% do. (7) Moreover, these programmes only work when those attending them want to change. (8)
As part of Project Mirabal, Kelly and Westmarland conducted an extensive study of DVPPs in the UK, research they admittedly approached with a “healthy scepticism.” (9) However, their findings did appear to exceed their expectations.
They found that most referrals for DVPP programmes come through Children’s Services and that “both the quantitative and qualitative data showed steps towards change for the vast majority of men attending DVPPs. The programmes do extend men’s understandings of violence and abuse.“ A particularly effective aspect of the programmes studied that enabled men to change was group work. This involved seeing themselves through others, being challenged by peers and having skilled facilitators, leading to a degree of self-reflection. Consequently:
“Physical and sexual violence was not just reduced but ended for the majority of women in this research. Everyday abuse and harassment, unsurprisingly, was more difficult to curtail, as men admit and women regret. Even here, however, change is in the direction one would hope with at least some reductions across all our measures of success. There is no evidence that men either increase or shift to completely new, more subtle forms of abuse, although a number do not choose to abandon practices they have already used. At the same time that some men took a few steps towards change, the fact that they were on a DVPP gave some women the confidence to change as well – to set new boundaries and reclaim space for action that had been constrained by abuse.” (10)
Research from the USA also confirms the key finding that “only accountability and monitoring are useful in changing abusers’ behavior.” (11)
Much of the available research does not include a racial breakdown of DVPP programme participants. Yet there is a thread that can be drawn out from Afrikan culture. We can tentatively liken the group work where men’s behaviour is challenged, essentially by their peers (in a somewhat specific, functional sense) to the life-long age-grouping, or what the Gikuyu would the riika in Afrika. In this context, the riika acts as:
“One body in all tribal matters and have a very strong bond of brotherhood and sisterhood among themselves. Thus, in every generation the Gikuyu tribal organisation is stabilised by the activities of the various age-grades, of old and young people who act harmoniously, in the political, social, religious and economic life of the Gikuyu.” (12)
However, two factors should be borne in mind, DVPP still only cater for a minority of perpetrators and a coherent community structure would have to be in place for an effective peer driven accountability process to have any agency in an Afrikan community context.
(1) Órla Ryan (09/12/17) Instead of asking ‘Why didn’t she leave’, ask ‘Why did he hit her?’ – domestic violence survivor. https://www.thejournal.ie/emma-murphy-domestic-violence-3741167-Dec2017/
(2) Liz Kelly and Nicole Westmarland (2017) Steps Towards Change: Domestic Violence Perpetrator Programmes. Durham University. https://www.dur.ac.uk/resources/criva/ProjectMirabalfinalreport.pdf. p. 3
(3) John G Taylor (05/02/13) Behind the Veil: Inside the Mind of Men Who Abuse. https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-reality-corner/201302/behind-the-veil-inside-the-mind-men-who-abuse
(4) Ibid
(5) Barry Goldstein (03/01/19) Why men abuse women and what makes them stop. https://stopabusecampaign.org/2019/01/03/why-men-abuse-women-and-what-makes-them-stop/
(6) Laura Larkin (14/05/17) Men who abuse women ‘use the same tactics as pedophiles and I’ve never met one who wanted to change’, says author of How He Gets in her Head. https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/men-who-abuse-women-use-the-same-tactics-as-pedophiles-and-ive-never-met-one-who-wanted-to-change-says-author-of-how-he-gets-in-her-head-35681098.html
(7) Save Lives (2019) Our Alternative White Paper on Domestic Abuse. http://safelives.org.uk/sites/default/files/resources/Our%20Alternative%20White%20Paper%20on%20Domestic%20Abuse.pdf
(8) Respect (08/10/18) Respect Statement On Panorama ‘Can Violent Men Change?’ 8.10.18. http://respect.uk.net/respect-statement-on-panorama-can-violent-men-change-8-10-18/
(9) Kelly and Westmarland. Op. Cit. p. 46
(10) Kelly and Westmarland. p. 45-6
(11) Goldstein. Op. cit
(12) Jomo Kenyatta (1961) Facing Mount Kenya. Martin Secker & Warburg Ltd. p. 2-3
we ask the question:
Domestic Abuse Pt. 3: Why do Afrikan men Abuse Afrikan women?
1) Are abusers held to account enough?
2) Is abuse really a “life style choice”?
3) Should we liken domestic abuser perpetrators to paedophiles?
4) Are DVPP programmes effective?
5) How can we build effective accountability structures in the community?
Our Special Guest:
Bro. David Mullings: is the CEO Father Figure Children & Family Services – Specialist Family Support Consultant who’s main areas of interest are Supporting Fathers, Early Family Intervention, Family Court Advocacy and Co Parenting. He has amalgamated his own experiences as a father with over a decade of professional development to create a number of bespoke and unique interventions to support families, with a specialism for supporting and engaging fathers. Bro. David has considerable experience delivering group intervention to male perpetrators of domestic violence. 90% of local authority referrals for his organisation have a domestic violence element.